Attention all Winklings!

As all of you know from my "Wink" 3 minutes ago, I announced that all of you that follow my "Winks" are now called my "Winklings."

In honor of the Earth, I am going to start my Spring Challenge. Don't take this challenge lightly. My challenges have been known to change people's lives. And as all of you know, the only person you are competing against is yourself (and possibly your parents).

This will be a marathon challenge, I expect all of you to brace yourself for long and tough competition.

We are going to start off easy, today you need to make your team jersey. Just like on the biggest loser, they have a team color and it says "Biggest Loser" on the front. I have always admired the vulnerability and brutal honesty, and I challenge you to do the same. Are you the biggest loser you know? Are you the slowest learner you know? Do you have a hard time admitting you need help? Whatever describes you, write that on the shirt. You will wear it everyday until you quit! You can't get voted out of this competition, so it is just up to your will to survive.

Good luck, tomorrow we will begin the activities.

What bus?

Welcome to my Spring Forward Fall Back memo. Confused? I guarantee you that you are not nearly as confused as I am right now. After years of being a life coach I am starting to doubt the commitment levels of all my Winks (Just like Twitter has "Tweets," Dr. Winkle has "Winks." Unfortunately it isn't a direct correlating analogy, since "Winks" aren't the comments I post. "Winks" are all of my followers. So I guess a better example of "Winks" would be a plate of spaghetti and meatballs to a fork. I guess I would be the spaghetti and all of you are the "forks," except for a few of the non-committing, sensitive, "I need drama and poor results in my life" people out there, you people are the "meatballs."). After writing all of that, I think "Winks" would be a more appropriate name for my posts. Now I need a new name for all of my followers.... hmmm. How about "Winklings!" I love it! Ok, ok, I need to get back on track. So as I was saying, I am starting to doubt the commitment levels of all of my Winklings. Now, for those of you out there that have let me into your life, you have seen amazing results! I have not only taken your life to new levels of excellence, but I have given you reasons to live. I have trained you to be a winner and an eater of all the meatballs out there. 

For all of you meatballs out there, since you continually stall to get on the bus, I have trained people to hunt you down and eat you. Then when they are done, they get on the bus and hang out with all of the forks while eating spaghetti for dessert. Meatballs are very easy to find, since they think they are waiting at the bus stop to get on, but they just wait. They actually find themselves standing at a crosswalk near a local elementary school talking to the misfit crossing guard. No bus is coming meatball. You have to wait at a bus stop. My Winks are like a bus map. They will tell you where the bus stops are and where the busses are going. Spring is a perfect time for a new start. Get on the Bus!

Stop clapping....seriously, please stop clapping!

For those of you that were at my "Most remarkable influences of our time" tribute, I have just one thing to say... Thank you!

It's not every day (although pretty close for me), that someone is recognized for such an amazing honor and for that I am humbled. I am reminded of an experience early in my career with a small lady ( I think that's politically correct). Not only was she small, but she had a very interesting accent. When she attempted to say simple words, like "true," she would repeat the "t" four to five times before finishing the rest of the word. I never understood this, but was afraid to ask her "why?" since I didn't want to wait for the long response. Anyways, she asked me the three longest questions anyone has ever asked me, which was weird because she was so small. I am not going to share the three questions with you, because they weren't any good.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone that clapped for 2 hours and 23 minutes straight, while standing. 

For those of you that weren't there, it was unbelievable. I didn't even get to say thank you or give a speech. Everyone just stood and clapped until I cried and ran off stage. 

I have the best fans ever! I am so happy that I have been able to change so many of your lives.

Troubled and focused

Look people, the economy is bad. Real bad. Here is the skinny on how to climb out of the rabbit/turtle/monkey hole you have found yourself in. Follow these 37 steps and you will find yourself in a recession proof force field. I have used 37 catchy titles so that you can easily remember them in order. These titles are meant to be easy to remember and paint a visual picture.

1. Catapult your enveries.

What are enveries? Exactly. That's why you're in this mess. Enveries derives from the mystical theory of surpasis. Surpasis was the discovery of long term mental dysfunction. Too many people have Surpasis of the enveries or action. Meaning: Long term mental dysfunction prohibiting action. Long story short, action makes perfect!

2. Use a lifeline.

All too often people want to figure things out for themselves. That's why you need a life coach. Use your last life line, not to find the razor blades in the drawer, its not that bad yet. Call your personal life coach. He has many exercises to get you out of this mess. 

3. That's a wrap!

Who has ever heard of a 37 step process for doing anything. Just follow steps 1 through 2 and you'll be fine. Your life coach will have the other 35 steps.

May the wind blow you half way to the moon and decide to stop blowing. Only then will you realize that its a long way down.

Thought Bandits

How many of you have had that million dollar idea and before you can make it a reality someone else does it. I hate to be the one to tell you, but it is not coincidence. I was just at a conference in Washington D.C. for the intellectually advanced populous, and we were shocked at what was revealed. We were warned to stop having good ideas, because the government has the ability to monitor your thoughts and then sells the good ideas to high bidders... like homes, some of these ideas are suddenly being foreclosed on. I am working on a new site that will allow you to purchase some of these stolen ideas through foreclosures or a short sale. Stay posted for this new opportunity!
As for today and your journey towards personal growth. Before you think about any good ideas, remember there are thought bandits out there and they will steal those good ideas and sell them to other people. Another product I am working on is an authentic thinking cap which promotes good ideas and then has a security transistor so your thoughts can't be monitored.
Be curious, jump far, and wash your feet after a long walk...

Out on payroll for good behavior....

It's amazing how quickly life can change. As most of you know, I was in the middle of transforming all of your lives with my 10 program and many of you were having remarkable results. Then we got to Day 8. Well, a couple of fire crackers, a pinkie, a few comments and 110 days in jail later and here we are.
I know you've heard it a million times before and I am sorry for beating the drum with a melon, but sometimes a cliche says it all. "When you sit on both of your hands and pick a fight, its hard to defend your face." Its also hard to defend your face (or your feelings) when you have pepper spray in your eyes (or people are calling you names). I am not ashamed for what I did, or what I've been through, mainly because I have heard a lot of your stories and you people are pathetic. But I am here to tell you there is hope. Just as I was released for good behavior, you too can be released from your state of idiocrity.
We are about to go on a journey and I need you to think... not about the journey itself, but what fruit you are going to bring with you on the journey.
Here is a hint- I don't mean fruit literally... figure out what I mean by fruit, and then you will realize what I mean by journey. It's not the journey your thinking about either.

Day 8

...Wow. Apparently, the whole firecracker thing didn't go over well with the local authorities. As you might have noticed, it has been quite some time since my last post. I have been contained against my will (by authorities, get your minds out of the gutter) because of the accident y son had on the fourth of July. Since I admitted in my blog that I was trying to teach him a lesson, there is some negligence among other things I got in trouble for. I am thankful for the fortunes I have been able to accumulate, because I was able to get the very best attorneys and they were able to get me off on some technicalities. While being contained, I tried to tell them I needed access to my blog because I had a lot of students participating in a 10 day program and they would all be stuck... they didn't seem to care.
I will keep this one much shorter than it is suppose to be, because I have a lot of stuff I am behind on.
Today, I want you to figure out what Day 9 is and do it. Tomorrow we will finish day 8, but it is essential you apply your learned habits and connect the dots of Day 9.
Good luck,

Its good to be free!