Thought Bandits

How many of you have had that million dollar idea and before you can make it a reality someone else does it. I hate to be the one to tell you, but it is not coincidence. I was just at a conference in Washington D.C. for the intellectually advanced populous, and we were shocked at what was revealed. We were warned to stop having good ideas, because the government has the ability to monitor your thoughts and then sells the good ideas to high bidders... like homes, some of these ideas are suddenly being foreclosed on. I am working on a new site that will allow you to purchase some of these stolen ideas through foreclosures or a short sale. Stay posted for this new opportunity!
As for today and your journey towards personal growth. Before you think about any good ideas, remember there are thought bandits out there and they will steal those good ideas and sell them to other people. Another product I am working on is an authentic thinking cap which promotes good ideas and then has a security transistor so your thoughts can't be monitored.
Be curious, jump far, and wash your feet after a long walk...

Out on payroll for good behavior....

It's amazing how quickly life can change. As most of you know, I was in the middle of transforming all of your lives with my 10 program and many of you were having remarkable results. Then we got to Day 8. Well, a couple of fire crackers, a pinkie, a few comments and 110 days in jail later and here we are.
I know you've heard it a million times before and I am sorry for beating the drum with a melon, but sometimes a cliche says it all. "When you sit on both of your hands and pick a fight, its hard to defend your face." Its also hard to defend your face (or your feelings) when you have pepper spray in your eyes (or people are calling you names). I am not ashamed for what I did, or what I've been through, mainly because I have heard a lot of your stories and you people are pathetic. But I am here to tell you there is hope. Just as I was released for good behavior, you too can be released from your state of idiocrity.
We are about to go on a journey and I need you to think... not about the journey itself, but what fruit you are going to bring with you on the journey.
Here is a hint- I don't mean fruit literally... figure out what I mean by fruit, and then you will realize what I mean by journey. It's not the journey your thinking about either.

Day 8

...Wow. Apparently, the whole firecracker thing didn't go over well with the local authorities. As you might have noticed, it has been quite some time since my last post. I have been contained against my will (by authorities, get your minds out of the gutter) because of the accident y son had on the fourth of July. Since I admitted in my blog that I was trying to teach him a lesson, there is some negligence among other things I got in trouble for. I am thankful for the fortunes I have been able to accumulate, because I was able to get the very best attorneys and they were able to get me off on some technicalities. While being contained, I tried to tell them I needed access to my blog because I had a lot of students participating in a 10 day program and they would all be stuck... they didn't seem to care.
I will keep this one much shorter than it is suppose to be, because I have a lot of stuff I am behind on.
Today, I want you to figure out what Day 9 is and do it. Tomorrow we will finish day 8, but it is essential you apply your learned habits and connect the dots of Day 9.
Good luck,

Its good to be free!

Day 7

Some of you have been irritated that it has been a few days since I posted last. There are a couple of reasons. First of all, you need to realize how far we have come. Just like the Lord rested on the 7th day, we too must rest. We are now on day 7 of a 10 day transformation and you need to think about the progress that has been made. Your Day 7 exercise may vary depending on your current situation. If you have a child under the age of 10 years old you will do the following (if you are married make sure your wife/husband participates): Wait until your child goes to sleep, make a batch of fake blood (feel free to have this pre-made), (one good recipe is ketchup, water, little bit of mayo, crushed peeled tomatoes (this helps with the effect), and Worchester sauce) put it all over your neck, face, back and other ideal stab areas (make sure your wife/husband does the same). Then leave the knife covered and also on the floor. Have the front door wide open and have a tall friend standing on the porch with a hood on a few feet outside. Then lay down on the kitchen floor arms and legs in non-normal positions and scream! Keep screaming until you hear your child coming, and then go silent. Lie there and play dead. Watch with your eyes squinting how your child reacts. Once he/she starts to cry, have your friend outside stomp the ground, bringing the attention to him. Then have him lower his upper body and charge your child. Your child will probably be so scared they won’t move. Have him run up to them and grab them under the arms and throw him in the air. Then everybody yell, “Surprise!” Get up and start telling him/her how you acted the whole thing out. This is a very powerful exercise because it will show you how much you’re needed. It’s kind of similar to the Scrooge and being visited by the ghost of Christmas future. You will see how your child would act if you got stabbed. You will feel very important and be assured you do have a purpose. If you don’t have kids, try this on a senior citizen (they are usually just as gullible). If you don’t have access to one, go volunteer at a retirement home and wait until they go into the bathroom (make sure you have cleaning materials in case one of them has a heart attack.. Good Luck you three days to goers.

Day 6

Face it, we live in a material world and I am a material man. I am not here to brag about my 19 rollies (hip term multiple Rolexes. Collector’s throw this term around all the time.) or my 12 brits (again, hip term for brietlings). I have a genuine passion for the finer things in life, therefore I tend to treat myself to a few things. This always seems to be a point of conflict with people. They say, a life coach shouldn’t preach about materialistic things, you should be about empowering yourself and helping others. I always use the following example to get my point across; If I take a homeless man to a pie factory and I only have enough money for three pies. How much should I give him? The responses I get tend to be anywhere from “why are you taking him to a pie factory? Why not a grocery store or a somewhere he can get a good meal?”( these people have completely missed the point of the story) Others say, “You should give him all of the pies or two of the pies.” (These people are probably on their way to being homeless as we speak. They would prefer to give everything they own away.) The correct answer is that you give the homeless guy whatever is left when you’re done eating. If I am able to eat two and a half pies, then he is only going to get a half a pie. Usually I can eat all three, so he gets to watch. It is important to never offer him a bite until I am so full, and so sick that I don’t even want to look at another piece of pie. This does a couple of things. First, it shows the homeless guy (bum), that if he were working and doing things for himself, he could afford three pies (this exercise doesn’t work as well if you take the bum to the grocery store and buy carrots, they don’t care if you don’t share). Second of all it rewards you for earning the money you made. Your mind takes a subconscious note (also known as a Hindu Bean), telling itself that if you work hard, you will enjoy the rewards. Hindu Beans are what make the top performers in life perform. Thirdly, if you are full and sick, you won’t resent the bum for eating your food when you give it to him. You can actually be happy for him and you feel good about yourself. Today, I want you to take a bum to a pie factory and order three pies. Whatever you CAN’T finish, he gets. You will feel better about giving, plus you will have already enjoyed some pie for yourself. So even if you don’t enjoy giving, you’ll still be happy, because you ate pie. You need to learn to treat yourself first. This philosophy is why I have become such a great life coach and so successful in business.

4th of July Pinkie Promise

It makes me laugh how dumb kids can be. You can show them how to do something, and they think they can do it immediately without further instructions. I showed my kids how to light a firecracker, while in your hand, and then to hurry and throw it. Instantly my six year old thought he could do it and wanted to try. I told him 'No! It is very dangerous and you need to watch daddy do it a couple more times before you can try." He started to cry and insisted he already knew how to do it. I thought it would be a good opportunity to teach him a very valuable lesson in life. So I give him a hand full of fire crackers. He grabbed the first one, lit it, and it exploded in his hand. He started crying, but he was lucky he had his hand open, so it didn’t hurt as bad as it could have. I did a couple more in front of him, bragging about how cool it was, so naturally he wanted to try again. I told him that it was very dangerous, but he again insisted. Well, this time his hand wasn’t opened when the fire cracker exploded in his hand and it blew his pinkie off. We had to take him to the hospital and the doctors couldn’t do anything about the finger. To prove that I was right and to make sure he understands I keep trying to pinkie promise on everything I say. It makes him feel bad, but it will be a lesson that will stay with him for the rest of his life.

Day 5

As all of you know Da Baicai can be cooked in many different ways. In fact, 20 years ago a Chinese housewife needed to learn how to vary the evening meal by using the “big cabbage” in different dishes. I haven’t been able to find one housewife that knows more than four ways to cook Da Baicai (which blows my mind), it amazes me how quickly we lose essential skills. If it only takes 20 years to lose touch with something like this, think about all of the other things you have lost along your way. Day 5 is all about re-learning things you have forgotten. I call it the Da Baicai somersault. I call it that because in order to do a somersault you have to move your feet over the head. It can be done forwards, backwards, or sideways. I don’t care how you do it, just do it (forefrontal view). Today, I want you to do everything you do backwards, sideways, or forward…if you usually do it backwards or sidewards. For instance, when you make your peanut butter and jelly sandwich today, try putting the peanut butter and the jelly on the outside of your sandwich. Chew, swallow and then bite. Then put your hands in your pockets and then wipe them off…see how differently you can do things. In case you’re not following, I will give you another example; Get dressed and ready to go out, then lie in the bathtub and turn on the water. Scrub your body (over the clothes) with soap, then take them off and drain the water. Then dry your hair, and now apply shampoo. I think you’re starting to get the hang of it. How backwards can you be today? You will find it will open your eyes and allow you to see the world a little bit different. Hello! (Get it…)

Day 4

Hopefully all of you were able to call in sick today and get some sleep, but if not, that's pretty hard core. Good for you! Listen, Day 4 is not for the weak of heart. In fact, I have had to change it quite a bit over the last few years. When I started my career, Day 4 ended up being a three day event, that took one day for my students to perform. Even though Day 4 is still very similar, there are some major differences, but they are small enough that you wouldn't really notice. I use to have people pick what their favorite animal was (a dog, a tiger, a bald eagle, a goat, a cat, panda bear, etc...), then I would have them go get this animal. For some, this was easy, they just went to their back yard and grabbed 'Bongo' from the kennel. For others, not so easy. Just imagine, if your favorite animal was a snow leopard, or a Polar Bear (Let's just say it was a challenge to complete this in one day for some). I would then have them go buy mini bottles of alcohol (one for each rabbit), string, clasps, a bell and small hand drill. I would then have my students drink a bottle, and put a piece of paper with one rabbit in it and seal the cap. Then take the drill and put a hole at the top of the cap, run the string through attach the clasps and make a necklace. Then take this necklace and put it around your favorite animal's neck ( good luck if you like snakes). With each new necklace you make, you have to ring the bell before putting it on your pet. You then need to dig a hole and put your animal in it. The idea is that you then bury this animal alive. Well, after multiple law suits and activists doing marches in my driveway. But you would attach so much pain with your rabbits, because they killed your favorite animal that it was very symbolic way to rid yourself of the pain, plus you didn't have to hurt anyone doing it. Instead, Day 4 requires the same necklace making and bell ringing, but instead putting it around an animal's neck, put it around your own. Look in a mirror and yell "Die Rabbit, You SUCK!" with each one. Afterwards, go sit in a hole in your back yard and think about what you've done. Remember, you're pretending you're in a rabbit hole, so if you need to wear a tail, then do it. Have some one fill the hole up to your neck, obviously if they bury you alive, your rabbits will be gone, but you won't be able to live the life you are capable of. While sitting there, imagine yourself killing the rabbits in the way in which you envisioned (by the way, send hate mail to animal groups when ever you get a chance).

Day 3

Day 3
"Star light, star bright." Unless your journey took you to jail yesterday or you are still sitting perched on someone’s front porch, then you move forward. Tonight is all about patience. I want you to find a secluded spot that is dark. Pick a star in the sky and name it. The name should consist of something personal, but also revealing. It should be something that reminds you of your grandparents, and of summer flowers. Things that make you smile. Then I want you to stare at this star all night. Do not sit, do not lay down, just stare. Your neck will start to hurt and your legs will start to grow tired, but keep staring. This will connect you to a greater force, a greater force you will need in your journey. By the way, you need to do this with a cape on.

Day 2

Welcome to the day of fertile birthing. Yesterday (not counting the weekend), I asked you to do the "Pointed Duck" exercise. Except you didn't know that's what the exercise was called because I didn't tell you. Well now you know, your June Rabbits list and ways to kill them is called your Pointed Duck List. Remember that, it will serve you well in Day 4. I am sure you thought today was going to be about killing rabbits, well its not. You are not ready for that ritual yet. Today, we must get you mentally and emotionally prepared for what is to come. Today, you will be playing out a sacred ceremony called the "Me-go Birthing Ceremony." Before I get into the details, you must understand the purpose of today's exercise. In order to transform into the person and the life of your dreams you have to shed the wretched person you are today. Face it, internally you are a wreck. You are an ugly person with bad taste in clothes and everyone around you knows it. It's not your fault, I don't blame you, you're just stupid. We are going to change that all today. We have to get over what other people think of us, so today it is critical we challenge some of those insecurities. Today, is all about giving birth to the new you... and doing it in a way that overcomes all self consciousness. You will need to practice this in your mind a few times in order to memorize it, there will be no time for reading the steps later.
First thing you will need to do is find someone in your neighborhood you don't know very well. They will need to be outside doing something in their yard, garage or backyard. Without saying a word to them you will go hand them a letter, walk to their front door and perch with your eyes closed (you are to remain in this position until you receive the sign). The card will read the following: "Dear fellow neighbor, I am on a grand journey. My journey is one of great magnificence and glory. In order to for me to advance on my path, I need to perform for you and ten other people. Chose these people wisely, for I will catapult each of you into a new understanding of life. In my performance today I will be giving birth. Please bring a shovel and empty garbage bag, I will need you to bury my aftermath in a secret spot that you will never reveal to me. I will need everyone to bring an old pair of shoes. Also, in your front yard please make an eight foot circle outlined with dirt, approximately 9 inches high. I will be perched on your front porch like an owl until everyone arrives and you are ready for me to perform. Time is not relevant, it is more important for you to pick the right people than it is to hurry. Understand that part of my journey is to wait in anticipation of performing. Also, please don't feed me or offer me water. When everyone has arrived and you are ready for the performance to begin please clap twice. I will then open my mouth. You will need to put a stick in my mouth and I will bite it. I will stand up and you will need to escort me to the middle of the circle by tugging on the stick. Once I am in the middle, please have everyone line up around the circle of dirt with their old shoes on. When I snap the stick, have everyone start kicking the dirt on me."
Once you have been led into the center of the circle, tell everyone to stop laughing (Your eyes are still closed). Say "sdrawkcab" over and over very slowly, with a very deep voice (It's "backwards" spelled backwards). Hold the stick above your head and snap it in half. Then start making huge counter clockwise circles with your arms as everyone kicks dirt at you. At the same time start spinning counter clockwise, quicker and quicker. Now start alternating "Swoooosh" and "sdrawkcab," growing louder and louder with each turn you make (You are turning back the hands of time within yourself). Spin faster and faster until you fall down because you are so dizzy (Hopefully people will still be kicking dirt at you, but it's ok if they're not. Also, if you have to throw up then do it at this time. If you wait to do it later it might cause complications). At the top of your lungs yell "SILENCE!" Then bring yourself into the fetal position, hugging your knees (By the way, if you are in a wheel chair and you are unable to do this exercise, please visit me on myspace and I will give you an alternate exercise to perform). In SUPER SUPER SUPER slow motion roll onto your back. With the same speed, you will need to bring your body into a "delivery" position (Mentally you should be focusing on all the traits you wish to have, all the things you want to accomplish. You are about to give birth to everything you want to become. This might be a very emotional experience, tears will only enhance your state). With the same speed, I want you to give birth. You will moan and squeal as loud as you can during this 45 minute routine. Once you have given birth, I want you to sit up and open your eyes for the first time, seeing the people's lives you have just touched. I want you to pick up the new you with a smile on your face as though you are the proudest father ever. Hand the new you over to someone in the circle and encourage them to pass it around. When it gets to the last person, ask them to hand it to you. You will then palm the new you in your right hand as though you are holding a basketball. Lift it high in the air. With your left hand I want you to imagine you are grabbing your soul out of your chest. Bring it out slow, it won't come easy. Look to your neighbor, ask him to bring the garbage bag. Then with your left hand place the old you into the garbage and have him close it immediately. With your right hand you will then place the new you in the void in your chest. Tell your neighbor to fulfill his/her duties and have the other witnesses escort you to your house, while staying in the circle formation around you. You may give them all hugs before going into your house. Please write in your IITTTC Journal and reflect on your experience. Go to bed early tonight, this has been an emotionally draining day for you.

Day 1

Before we get started, on page one of your IITTTC Journal write yourself a Power Poem (read my other posts to see what I am talking about. Please don’t feel inspired to share them with me, other people’s power poems tend to frustrate me). The poem is going to be something to refer to daily to set the tone for your exercises (kind of like before going to the opera with your wife you drop a dumbbell on your foot so you get the isle.).
Today is all about identifying all of your June Rabbits. In your IITTTC Journal draw a line that divides the second page in two. On the left side you are going to list all of your June Rabbits, On the right side you are going to write as many creative ideas as you can of ways to kill those rabbits. For example, instead of just saying “I could catch the rabbit in a potato sack and then hook it up to my dog leash, cut off its ears and grow its hair to look like a Yorkshire Terrier and enter it into an underground dog fighting ring,” I want you to be creative. Come up with something original. Come up with three ideas for each rabbit. Good luck! I will see you tomorrow.

Misrepresented.

I have to admit, I am not your typical ‘blogger.’ I have had numerous phone calls (numerous is being modest) since my blog appeared earlier this week. People have been very excited and have been waiting a long time for me to offer daily value. Some of the feedback has been less than desirable. To my surprise, some of you don’t know who I am…even though I think these are prank calls, I will treat it as thought it was a reality. I am sure there are people in small countries that have not been exposed to me, my principles, my life tools, my books, my motto’s, my famous quotes, or my non-toxic chemical free brain rub (Dr. Winkle’s Brain Rub allows you to perform in peak levels. You may not know that you probably only use 7% of your brain, but with Dr. Winkle’s Brain Rub that percentage will squatrupolate. Put yourself in a mindset of productivity and conquer all of your dreams today! My attorney has told me every time I mention my brain rub, I have to mention the following disclaimer: Make sure Brain Rub is applied only to your forehead. Do not leave on skin for more than ten seconds and wash thoroughly. If burning occurs, seek medical attention. Dr. Larry Winkle is not responsible for complications related to Brain Rub usage.), therefore, I am going to begin a 10 day transformation program. Please have a journal ( I will refer to it as your IITTTC (It Is The Time To Change) Journal. I will give you daily exercises to help you transform. If you follow religiously, you will be amazed by the results. I will leave it posted so anyone at anytime can refer to it and go through it again and again. Let’s begin this journey together! I will post day one later today.

June Rabbits

June is always a tough month for most people. It's the beginning of the summer season, gas prices are going up, you spent your last $9.50 on a six pack and lottery tickets and you have three days until your next pay check. You're looking forward to a vacation you've been planning (even though you haven't booked the hotel yet and haven't asked for the time off work), but expenses just keep piling up and now that vacation is becoming a source of stress.
I'm sure you have heard of "a case of the Mondays," well what you are experiencing is very similar. I call it your "June Rabbits." The more rabbits you have the more they multiply(because they are breeders) and the worse it seems.
I learned a valuable lesson growing up from my father. We lived in Barstow, California at the time and he told me to watch out for Rabbits, they will eat your garden, take over your house, and give your kids rabies. That is when I started hating rabbits and developed my philosophy of June Rabbits. It doesn't matter what kind of rabbit it is, you don't want it around you in June.
When eliminating the rabbits from your life, start with the people that are rabbits. The people that are constantly bringing you down need to be thrown out with the rest of the rabbits.
In the movie the Matrix, when Neo is told to follow the white rabbit, all I could keep yelling is, "No, Neo! Don't follow the white rabbit, shoot it!" If he would have, he never would have been in the mess he ended up in... I don't know what happens, I stopped watching after he started popping pills (the red or the blue pill?) I think it was a horrible example for kids. Neo has to take pills to save the world? Grow up Wachowski brothers.

Kick start your day!

So, I'm a little slow to get going today, so I need to interrupt my pattern. I usually write a poem of power to over come these types of moods. Something to kick start my day. I thought I would share, so that you can emulate me and possibly use the same tactics I do, to bring you the same results.

Stop it Larry! Stop it!
You sink into the dwells are carry the voices of burden
Wake up Larry! Wake up!
Eat your problems! Eat them all!
If you Eat them then you control them, do not let them fester!
Today is your day of POWER! You are Power, breath as though you inhaled the power of gods.
You are something special and it is your right to conquer this day!
Now go do it Larry! Do it!

I will recite this in the mirror until I feel and believe it. I thought this might help some of you. It will put you in a mindset to be productive.

Change your thought process

For a while now everyone has been asking me what it is that makes me so successful and so efficient. The truth is, I can understand things better than everyone else. For instance, you and I can hear the same quote "The early bird gets the worm." Automatically, you start saying in your head, yeah yeah yeah, I get it, first come first serve. And then you're done, you move on wondering what type of canned chili would make the best chili fries. The ball doesn't stop rolling for me though. I think of this phrase in several ways. First, if the early bird gets the worm, then every morning the worm has the opportunity to get the early bird. The point is, I don't think like the early bird, because everyone thinks like the early bird and everyone is too tired to wake up early, everyone knows what they should do and they don't want to do it. But if you think like the worm, things are more exciting. What can one worm do, to change this phrase forever? What if the early bird was scared to get the worm, or the early bird meets the worm for coffee in the morning to discuss how they could team up to get the fish? This is a silly example, but its to show you that there is no end to the possibility.

Ask and you shall receive.

So, after thousands of requests, I have finally decided to start a 'blog.' I feel like it is my obligation to give back to those who have made me so successful. I feel so blessed because I have so much money and honestly, I probably have more friends than you do. I don't mean that to come across as insensitive, but through my work I have had the opportunity to meet so many people. I want to say thank you to everyone that I have encountered in my work and for giving me the opportunity to help you in your life.
I assume most of you know who I am, but for those of you that don't I am Dr. Larry Winkle. Welcome back from being under that rock for the last 20 years. I am a world renown life coach. I was named the "Golden Ace up the sleeve for anyone in life" by the East Oregonian newspaper in 1987 and things have only gone up from there. I became famous in the late 80's and it seemed like I couldn't stop making money if I tried. I have lived all over the world and have probably done everything you can imagine. I live by what I call "My five potential wisdom fairies," which is a copyrighted program that I revealed in my ground breaking book "How to find your inner wisdom fairies." I am sure those principles will reveal themselves throughout this blogging experience. By the mid 90's the fame and spotlight started to wear on me, so I decided to get married and take a break from helping other people...yeah that lasted about as long as it did for Jay Z (a hip-hop artist known for Big Pimpin). Too many people knew about my abilities to allow me to hide, so I continue to help people.
This is a blog to give you access to me without paying the $13,000 one-on-one personal coaching fee. This site will give you great perspective, motivation, and inspiration. It will give you a safe haven to ask questions and receive answers to any problem you think you have. Please start all posts while respecting me by saying Dear Dr. Larry Winkle.